Joke: The Tourist

An Italian tells a visitor to his country:
“You have to be careful in my country because we have bad cars and good wine, a dangerous combination!”

Joke: New Stuff ... Old Hits

Overheard in a pub:
“When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert. We start with some new stuff and then we bring out the old hits!”

Joke: Relatives

Wife: "You hate my relatives!"

Husband: "Not true! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine!"

Joke: Pocket Calculators

Salesman: "Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?"

Young boy: "No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have!"

Joke: Artists of the '60s

Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics:
Herman's Hermits; "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker!"
The Bee Gees; "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip!"
Commodores; "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom!”

Joke: A Sleeping Begger

A sleeping beggar puts up a notice board in front of him:

"Please do not make noise by dropping coins. Offer notes!"

Joke: May I Talk To You?

A man asked a beautiful woman in a Hypermarket: "Would you mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?" 

She asked: "Why?" 

He answered: "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears from somewhere!"