Joke: A Lady & a Gentleman

Lady: “Did you open the door for me because I am a lady?”

Man: “No, I did because I am a gentleman!”

Joke: Garden of Eden

A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and kept screaming, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”

From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries!”

Joke: Stupid vs Ugly

Husband: “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.”

Wife: "Well, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Joke: Like Father ...

"If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, then, it is understandable why mothers cry so much at weddings!"

Joke: Twenty one plus

A lady when asked her age always replies, “Twenty one plus!”

Someone keeps inquiring, “Twenty one plus…..what?”

She angrily snaps back, “Twenty one plus 240 months!”

Joke: Like A Newspaper

Wife: "I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day."

Husband: "I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!"

Joke: The Chase

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

It's just like when dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving!

Joke: The Silent Language

From ASH- Association of Sensitive Husbands..........

Silence is a language, too!

So if you don't hear anything from your wife, it doesn't mean you are safe!

Joke: Dish Washer

Lady: "What do use for washing dishes?"

Friend: "Oh, I have found my husband's the best for washing dishes!"

Joke: Falling in love

Women fall in love by what they hear and men fall in love by what they see. 

And that's why men tell lies and women put on make-up!

Joke: Women have a passion for mathematics!

Women have a passion for mathematics!

They divide their age in half; 

double the price of their clothes and 

always add at least five years to the age of their best friend!

Joke: Heated

From ASH-Association of Sensitive Husbands:

"Heated gold is called ornament.

Beaten copper is called wire.

Compressed carbon is called diamond.

But heated, beaten and compressed person Is called husband!"

Joke: Responsible Man

Girl: "I want a responsible man as my husband!"

A man replies: "Then it has to be me. Whenever anything goes wrong in my office, they say I'm responsible!"

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS!

One morning, a son asked this father: “Why are you making Mummy breakfast? Is she sick?” 

The father replied: “No, because it’s Mother’s Day.”

“Oh,” said the son, “then, is every other day Father’s Day?”

Joke: Excuse me! My face is above!

Written on the front of T-shirt worn by a “well endowed” girl:

“Excuse me! My face is above!"

Joke: A few words

A man muttered a few words in church and found himself married.

Two years later, he a muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!

Joke: Marriage License

A question from ASH-Association of Sensitive Husbands: 

"Instead of divorces, why isn't there a marriage license that can be renewed yearly!"

Joke: Type of Man

From ASH-Association of Sensitive Husbands.........

Man before marriage: "SUPERMAN" After marriage: "GENTLEMAN"

After ten years: "WATCHMAN" After twenty years: "DOBERMAN!"

Joke: Sound Advice

Overheard at a women's forum:

Always listen to husbands; they gives sound advice:

"99% Sound & 1% Advice!"

Joke: Ladies' Make Up

From ASH- Association of Sensitive Husbands:

"To all the ladies who wear a lot of make-up! Take it easy, it's a face and not a coloring book!"