Joke: Shakespeare

Teacher: “Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?”

Student: “Of course! He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years!”

Joke: It's good

Teacher: "If you eat fish?"

Student: "It's good for my eyes."

Teacher: "If you don't eat fish?"

Student: "It's good for the fish!"

Joke: Me neither

Teacher: "You copied from Marvin’s exam paper didn’t you?"

James: "How did you know?"

Teacher: "Marvin’s paper says ‘I don’t know’ and you wrote ‘Me, neither’!"

Joke: Saying Grace

The Sunday school teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Little Johnny replies, “No sir! I don’t have to, my mum is a good cook!”

Joke: Absent

Father: "Why did you get such a low score in that exam?"
Son: "Absence!"
Father: "You were absent on the day of the exam?"
Son: "No but the boy who sits next to me was!"

Joke: 90%, 100%

Father: "Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams."

Son: "No father! I'll score 100% marks." 

Father: "Why are you kidding?"

Son: "You are the one who started this!"

Joke: Heaven

Teacher at religious class asks the students, “Who wants to go to heaven?” 

Everyone puts up the hand except Michael. 

He says, “I want to go home!”

Joke: 10, 10, 10

Young girl refuses to go to school and says: 

“The teacher is trying to confuse us – one day she says that five and five ten while the next day, she tells that six and four equal ten. Today, she informs us that three and seven is ten!”

Joke: Naughty kid

This lady sends her only son to a private school.

She then tells the class teacher, “If my son is naughty, don’t punish him. Instead punish the child next to him and he will get the message!”

Joke: Moses in the desert

Sunday school teacher: "Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?"

Student: "Because he was too stubborn to stop and ask for directions!"

Joke: The Andes

Father: "Why did you have to stay after school?"

Son: "I funked a test. I don't know where Andes were."

Father: "Well, next time remember where you put your things!'

Joke: Worker Ants

The teacher: “Worker ants can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?”

The clever student: “That they don’t have a union!”

Joke: School Motto

The principal was very proud of his school’s academic record.

Asked how he maintained such high standards, he said: “The school motto!”

A parent asked: "And what's that?" 

He replied: “If at first you don’t succeed, you’re expelled!”

Joke: Comb

Teacher: “Why don't you comb your hair?”

Student: “No comb, Sir.”

Teacher:“Why not use your dad’s then?”

Student: “No hair, Sir!”

Joke: Our Dog

Teacher: "Your essay on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy from him?"

Student: "No teacher, it’s about the same dog!"

Joke: Roman Rules

History teacher: "From where to where did the Romans rule?"

Student: "Sir, I think it's from page 15 to 18 in our history book!"

Joke: 1000 letters

A riddle for juniors..............
Teacher: "Can you give a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?"

Student: "Post office!"

Joke: Heaven and Earth

During religious class a teacher asked: "Why do Gods stay up in heaven?"

A boy answered: "Because they are afraid of what they have created!"

Joke: Adult Joke?

A child asked his father: "What is a adult joke?"

The father replied: "That'a a joke which has been around for eighteen years!"

Joke: Report Card

A teenage boy told his father: 

"Here’s my report card and a list I've made of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School!"