Joke: Need help?

Two Irishmen driving in Nevada saw a huge sign: “Need help, call Jesus - 1-800-005-3787.”

Out of curiosity one of them dialed that number. A Mexican showed up with a tow truck!

Joke: A Husband's complaint

One husband complained to another:
“You can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife. She asks me a question; answers it herself and after that, she explains to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong!”

Joke: Shakespeare

Teacher: “Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?”

Student: “Of course! He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years!”

Joke: Wrong Finger

At a party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”

The other replied, “Yes! I married the wrong man.”

Joke: A Lady & a Gentleman

Lady: “Did you open the door for me because I am a lady?”

Man: “No, I did because I am a gentleman!”

Joke: Tough World

A man tells his friend, “This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight.”

Friend: “But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is and is a fighter too?”

The man replies: “Oh! I’m teaching him how to run also!”

Joke: Neglect

Boss: “Who said that just because I kissed you at the company party, you could neglect to do your work around here?”

Secretary: “My lawyer!”