Joke: Last Request ...

The hardened criminal is sent to the electric chair. 

A pastor asks, “Do you have any last requests?” 

The criminal looks at him and says, “I am so scared; can you hold my hand!”

Joke: Rats !

She told the pet shop owner that she needed some rats.

He asked: "Why?" 

She replied: “I’m moving out of my rented house and my lease says that when I move out, I must leave the place in the same condition as I found it!”

Joke: Relatives of yours ...

A couple was driving by a zoo.
The husband sarcastically asked, “Are those animals any relatives of yours?”
The wife calmly replied, "Yes! I married into the family!”

Joke: Whisper

In church one day, the boy told his mother: “I have to piss.” 

The mother said: “Next time, say, ‘whisper’; we’ll understand” 

The next Sunday, the boy told his dad: “I have to whisper.” 

And the father said: “OK, whisper in my ear!”